Jeans Envy

For most of my life, I have had jeans-envy. Being vertically challenged, I have always been jealous of my male counterparts who could walk into a store, find a pair of jeans that fit them both waist-wise and length-wise and walk out with pants ready to wear. No trip to the tailors’ necessary. No hemming once they got home. Just jeans that Goldilocks would love: not too short, not too long, but just right.

Women’s jeans come in three lengths: “Tall,” (which I am definitely not), “Average,” (which I consider myself pretty close to being), or “Short,” (which designers apparently think I am).

The problem with“Average” jeans is that I am not 5’7” unless I am in 4-inch heels, and even then, when I’m not twisting my ankle, I’m stepping on the hem of the”Average”jeans. “Short” jeans are fine until they are washed, and then they are just too short. They come to the tops of my feet and just sit there, no way close to looking cool and fashionable.

Last week, while waiting for my daughters’ dance classes to end, I wandered into Steinmart. Near the entrance were several racks of jeans, Calvin Klein, Gloria Vanderbilt, Nine West…I walked over, remembering when all I wanted in life was a pair of Calvins. I took the jeans in hand and noticed something odd. Not only was there the usual size 8, there was an additional number, “32.”

I stopped. Could it be? I checked another pair. They said, “Size 10, 30.” I flipped through all the jeans on the rack, and sure enough, it was true! I could buy a pair of jeans not only by waist size, but also by length! There were “4, 29s” and “6, 33s” and “12, 30s.” Jeans to fit any and every woman who ever wished that she, like every single man who ever bought jeans, could buy hers by length as well as width.

I tried on several pair before I found the right size for me (I guess the designers were right about me!), but I walked out with a pair of Nine West jeans that were just right. I call them my Goldilocks jeans!

You can probably find these at any local department store that carries Calvin Klein and Nine West , but I got mine at Steinmart, ready to wear, for $29.99. (I still didn’t get a pair of Calvins, but I got cool and fashionable, and that’s what it’s all about!)