The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

The alarm went off this morning at 6 a.m., and I hate waking up that early.

I had bad dreams last night so I wasn't rested, and I started the day out with a headache. I hate headaches.

The kids got into a fight before school, and I really hate fights in the morning.

The fight made us late for carpool and then we were stuck in the bad traffic, and I hate traffic. It was starting to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

We didn't find the snake at Dad's, and I accidentally broke my parents' honeymoon wine bottle, the one covered with wax from years of anniversary candles. I hate not finding the snake, but I really hate breaking the bottle.

I got stuck by a train and was late picking up Emily for her doctor's appointment. She either has a staph infection or a strep infection. I hate infections. We had to rush to get there on time, and I hate rushing.

Our new insurance company didn't have our doctor as our primary care physician. I had to wait on the cell phone for 40 minutes while they figured out their mistake. It was somehow "not their mistake," and we'll end up having to pay for it. I hate paying for other people's mistakes.

"Today is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!" I said.

"I'm sorry," the insurance man replied. "It's not our fault."

My kitchen's a wreck. My laundry is piled up. My furniture is dusty, and I haven't made my bed in weeks. Most of my basement is in the garage in boxes. I hate chaos.

Our street is getting seal coated, and I couldn't park in the driveway. To get to my house, I had to walk across wet tar, and my shoes got messy on the bottom.

I was taking Claire to dance class and thinking about the missing snake and the possible infections and I rear-ended a Volvo. I hate accidents.

"Today is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day," I told the lady in the Volvo.

"I'm sorry," she said. "Some days are like that."

I didn't get to make dinner again, and I miss cooking.

I had a meeting and church, and I hate meetings.

I didn't have enough wine for my bath, and while I was sitting here typing about my day, a mouse ran across my kitchen floor, and now we can't find it.

It is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I'm going to bed.