To Renew or not to Renew...That Is the Question

When my kids were little, they sold magazines for school.  It was a huge fundraiser, and if a family sold 25 magazines, the kids got lunch and limo ride to Gattiland.  My dad was always good for 2 or 3 magazines, so the kids hit him up every year, and every year, he ordered, without fail, Time and Reader's Digest.  Sometimes he'd get Sports Illustrated or Newsweek, but the other two were a given.

Now on the order form, there was always the option of one year for one price or two years for a cheaper price, and it took me awhile to realize that my dad had been ordering 2 years' worth of subscriptions for several years in a row.  The good people at the magazine companies just added those orders onto the existing account, creating a several years of pre-purchased issues.

When Dad died, I had the magazines forwarded to my house since they were already paid for.  Time ran out a few months  later, but Reader's Digest kept coming month after month, like a little present in my mailbox from Dad.  About a year after his death, I wondered how long the issues would continue.  I grew to look forward to seeing his name on the cover, like a little tiny part of him was still alive to someone.

So yesterday, when the March issue arrived with the notice

it took my breath a little.  Only two issues left?  Ouch.  I have grown to enjoy Reader's Digest.  The stories are interesting, the jokes are funny, and I pride myself on getting at least 13/15 on Word Power each month.  But more than enjoying the magazine, I loved that it was still coming from Dad, nearly 2 years after he died.  Now, it too, would be ending.  I felt like crying.

So I am faced with the dilemma:  To renew or not to renew?  If I renew, I will still enjoy the magazine each month, but it won't be the same.  It won't be from Dad, and that is where the ultimate pleasure lied.  If I renew, the magazine will be mine and not Dad's, but it will still be kind of a gift from him because he introduced it to me and got me reading it every month.  If I renew, I think I will leave his name on the subscription.  I'll know the truth, but Reader's Digest won't, and at least in somebody's mind, he's still here, chuckling at "Life in These United States," and that's something anyway.