Hot Flashes, Hot Flashes...A Poem

By Sharron Hilbrecht

with a nod to Jack Prelutsky

Hot flashes, hot flashes,

I hate you!  You stink!

Your randomness pushes me

Over the brink.

I could be alone

Driving home in my car

Or out with my friends

With a drink at the bar

Or singing in church

With a hymnal in hand

Or lying in bed…

Who knows when you’ll land?

All of a sudden,

My cheeks will feel flushed.

My head starts to sweat,

And then I feel rushed

To find paper, a napkin,

A menu, a check,

Something to fan

the dew off my neck

My forehead, my chest,

And the top of my head.

My hair is all sweaty.

My cheeks are all red.

My shirt is constricting.

I really need air!

I peel off my clothes

Until I’m nearly bare

Then it’s over. You’re gone.

Now I’m wet, and I’m cold.

I’m wiping my face.

It really gets old!

You make me take baths

In a tub full of ice

or kick off the covers

(it’s not very nice),

Or turn down the air  

To 60 degrees

Until everyone’s freezing

Well, all except me,

or open the door of the

fridge for a breeze,

the heat and the sweat

just hoping to ease.

Hot flashes, hot flashes,

I don’t know why

You even exist.

I’m not gonna lie

Menopause sucks.

It really is wack.

Hot flashes, hot flashes,

Go away! Don’t come back!