My Daughter Is NOT a Princess!

My oldest daughter, Claire, informed me yesterday that she is NOT a princess.  Not no way.  Not no how.  Not.  A.  Princess.

This, coming from someone who, as a little girl, lived and breathed princess, made me scratch my head.  She had princess sheets, a princess comforter, princess curtains.  She dropped coins into a princess bank, carried a princess purse, and had a princess spoon and fork.  We had tiaras coming out the wahzoo and so many princess dresses, you would have thought we were the Disney costume shop.  Princess t-shirts, princess pajamas, princess toothbrushes, a princess backpack and a princess lunchbox.  We had lunch in Cinderella's Castle and met all of the princesses, and once, after meeting Prince Charming, she whispered in awe, "He called me fweethawrt!"

First trip to Disney World, 2004

It was all princess all the time.  Really.  All the time.

Second trip to Disney World, 2005

Of my girls, Claire is the one I would have least expected to say, "I am not a princess!"  

"Woah.  What brought this on?"  I asked her.

It seems that the day before, her boyfriend texted her something like, "Goodnight, princess."

"I am not a princess," she replied to him.  "I am a superhero historian scientist!"

"Okay," he said, teasing her.  "Goodnight superhero historian scientist princess!"

They got into a conversation about why girls are always called, "Princess."  Why NOT "superhero" or "scientist" or "astronaut"?

"Think about it, Mom," she said.  "Did you ever tuck me in and say, 'Goodnight my little astronaut?  NO!  Why?  Why do girls always have to be princesses???"

I had never really thought about it.  I did/do call my girls "princess," because what can be more special than a princess?  Think of the adjectives that "princess" calls to mind:  beautiful, delicate, sweet, dainty, lovely...I told her "princess" is an endearing term, that she shouldn't take it so negatively, that it's a way guys (and parents) show affection to the girls they love. She wasn't buying.

"Mom, a princess is someone you dress up in pretty clothes and marry away to a prince, who will become king.  So, yeah, she'll be queen one day, but she'll still only be second best!"

She bemoaned how society boxes little girls into pink and purple and princess, exclaiming, "Girls should be thought of as explorers and scientists and superheroes!  If I have a daughter, I'm going to call her 'my superhero' not 'my princess'."

Claire does have a great point.  It reminded me of the time when she was in first grade when she had to label a picture with the beginning sound it made.  There was a picture of a lady with a stethoscope around her neck and a cross on her hat.  Claire put "D" for doctor and got it wrong because it was "N" for nurse.  She was mad.  Her doctor is a female, and in Claire's mind, and rightly so, she saw a doctor.  I told the teacher her reasoning, but the teacher was old school and wouldn't budge.  "We were working on 'Ns'," the teacher said.

After contemplating our conversation about princesses and how we start so young indoctrinating our girls into the princess culture, I see that Claire is right:  She IS a superhero historian scientist.  I just hope whoever ends up sitting at her right hand is okay with sharing power because this girl isn't going to be second to anyone!